i permit you to call me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
