Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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