You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
