I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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