Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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