First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My bed smells like the plague
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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