did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
