So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Mom said you looked used
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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