He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
