Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
