I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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