Is it because I queefed?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
