Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sarcasm needs its own font
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
