I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
