your parents love me but you hate me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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