he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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