Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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