Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
