guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
