if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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