garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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