He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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