Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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