I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
