No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
