I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
