I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
