hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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