and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
