He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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