we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
