it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
