it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
