We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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