just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
