Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
