for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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