Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
