didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
