My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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