belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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