What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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