he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
