I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
