I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
