Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
