Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
