what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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