they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
