no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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